I know I am not an artist, but if I wish to create art, then so be it. Why must Leonce ridicule my efforts of peace? I feel free when I paint and it brings me content. Leonce looks at me as if I were becoming mentally unstable. He cares only for my submissiveness to him. If I do not oblige his wants or his needs, he becomes irritable. There are days when I am happy and days when I am unhappy and I don't know why. It doesn't feel worth while to be glad or sorry or to be dead or alive!